Feelings and What They Have To Do With Eating

No doubt about it....feeling your feelings is a big part of getting healthy. Healthy in the physical and healthy in the spiritual sense. My saying is "Just Feel It". When I was young I stopped eating to get attention. When I didn't get the attention, I overate. Then I just got lost in a sea of eating, not eating, stuffing emotions and denying emotions. There is a difference between stuffing and denying your emotions. Good luck figuring that one out. Experiencing my divorce over 15 year ago, was when I could officially say I realized I hadn't been feeling anything. Did I start feeling then? No way. There was a lot more to come before I could start feeling. But I did realize I wasn't feeling.
I've read a lot, processed a ton, and listened to all the raw foodies out there over the last 20 years. This I can now say, that there are more and more of us out there not afraid to admit we suffer from emotional eating. Yes, you can follow a raw lifestyle and still not be totally healed. C'mon, guys, none of us are perfect. It's only when we choose to deny our feelings to ourselves and to others, does it become a problem. This is a process. This is peeling the layers of an onion. There's always another layer.
When I cleaned out my kitchen of all processed and unhealthy items of food, I went 100% raw. Three months. I remember very clearly the first moment I actually "felt" that I didn't want a cookie. Not that I couldn't "have" a cookie. I didn't WANT one. Boy, was I mad. What? Not want a cookie? You love cookies, Donna. An interesting moment that was. My body was talking and not my head. But my head was angry. I vibrated for about three days with this. I couldn't stop shaking. I waited. I knew the real reason I was mad was about to come up. Yes, I processed something. That's another story on relationships. I thought at that time, "Great, I'm healed!" I couldn't have been more wrong. 40 years of holding in feelings and I was going to release them in three days?!? Yeah, right.
The feelings continue. What feeling is it though? Is it really about food or is it about me? Do I still eat cookies? Yes, I do. Sometimes more than two. But I'm listening to my inner voice a lot more. How do I do that? Lots of breathing. Lots of yoga, and some tears. I try to let the emotion wash over me before I eat. Not always. I still have food issues. Like an addict, I will always struggle with food issues. I do things to let myself know I'm loved. I hug my cat. I write these blogs. I take a nap. I give in to the stress of the moment and give up. I surrender to what is.
Stop being so hard on yourself. We are all human. Try being a "human being" and not a "human doing". As always, I wish you the best of health. Today I wish you good thoughts and the ability to feel them. There is change coming. Let it wash over you!

Donna Bergonzi-Boyle